This article is part of a series profiling the inspiring women of Together Live, a band of all-female storytellers who will travel across the U.S. this fall, spreading love, laughter, and hope. In 10 cities, big and small, the intimate one-night-only events serve as a reminder that no matter what divides us, women are strongest when we come together. Learn more about Together Live here—and get excited to join the party.

Soccer icon Abby Wambach and writer Glennon Doyle make marriage look easy: The duo, who were married in 2017, juggle demanding careers while raising three kids. (After retiring from soccer, Wambach wrote two books, cofounded leadership development training program Wolfpack Endeavor, and became one of the most in-demand public speakers in the country, while Doyle—who’s also written two best-sellers—runs the wildly popular online community Momastery and the nonprofit Together Rising.) And they do it in a way that makes it all look fun.

But here’s the thing: Both Doyle and Wambach were married before. The second time around they’re using the lessons from their pasts to help shape their constantly evolving modern marriage. “We don’t pretend to think that we’ve solved marriage,” Wambach told Glamour. What they have done, however, is figure out a way to make it work—and work well. Here they share a glimpse into their marriage, including how they divvy up the chores and coparent their kids.

Getty/Joe Scarnici

Glamour: How is this marriage different from your previous marriages?

Abby Wambach: We’re using our first marriages as a gauge—things that we did that didn’t feel good, things that happened in those marriages that were confusing and left us reeling. Both Glennon and I had to forgive ourselves for our past mistakes. We also had to open all the lines of communication. We’ve each worked to create the most beautiful and truest versions of ourselves, and by virtue, we’ve created the most beautiful version of a marriage we can dream of. It’s not something that we sit idly by waiting for. It’s something that we actually proactively go out and cocreate together.

This doesn’t mean that all day, every day, we’re talking about our marriage. This means that when we lie down at night to go to bed, we do a moral inventory. This means that when we have things that come up, we sit down and respectfully, calmly discuss what’s gone on. Modern marriage is taking all the evidence and all the facts of each of our lives and trying to make some sort of sense out of them together.

Glennon Doyle: I used to define marriage the way I was taught as a child, which is a marriage is a thing you commit to until you die. Then I got married because I was pregnant, because my now ex-husband, Craig, and I thought it was the right thing to do—not because we were the right partners for each other. We both agree on that now. I know a lot of people who stay in marriages where they’re both slowly dying, and I don’t consider that a success. I know people who have ended marriages and gone on to have super-fulfilling lives. I needed my first marriage to have the marriage that I have now. So did Abby. A “successful” marriage has nothing to do with whether or not that marriage is still intact. It has everything to do with whether or not the two people in that marriage are still alive and growing. When that ends, the success of the marriage ends for me, regardless of whether there are still marriage papers signed.

Glamour: How do you divide labor in your marriage?


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